Need You Now
by TheContamination
Summary: All these memories are scattered across my hotel room. There are photos of Chuck and I, photos of just Chuck and photos of Chuck after I left. He doesn't smile anymore; he doesn't laugh anymore, he isn't my Chuck anymore. He never was.


**A/N This was Beta'd my Lady Black - Malfoy. She's amazing :D  
But this was also looked over by a swarm of other people. Cause I know that this piece of writing was just shocking.  
****Anyway. I hope you enjoy this one shot. Thanks.**

**This was loosely based on the song Need you now - Lady Antebellum.**

**DISCLAIMER: The awesomeness that is Chuck does not belong to me. **

All those horrible memories were scattered across the carpeted hotel room floor. Photos of Chuck were everywhere. There were photos of Chuck and me, photos of just Chuck, and regrettably, photos of Chuck after I left him. He wasn't my Chuck anymore; he didn't smile anymore, and he didn't laugh anymore. He never was.

My cell phone beeped again- it was another voice message. Just like the last hundred times he'd called I immediately curled into myself and began to cry. How could I have done this to him? How could I have hurt him? How could I hurt my Chuck? I had hurt him, I did, and I hurt him to save him. We could never be together properly; he was my asset, and I was his handler. Things in the spy world did not work like that.

I could compromise his safety. I could get too attached and then reassigned. There were so many possibilities, so many reasons why we shouldn't be together, yet in my heart I knew that Chuck and I were meant to be together. It had taken me years to admit that and then I had to leave. I hate this. I needed him now.

I needed to see his curly brown hair in such disarray, his hair curling into small animal shapes, and I needed to see his brown eyes. The same brown eyes that by just looking into their chocolate brown depths I could melt. But the thing I needed most was Chuck's patented grin. That one smile that would make my whole world burst into flames. That one smile that always just makes me want to leave my job and steal him away to live our lives in safety somewhere. That same smile that made me realize that I loved Chuck more than somebody should ever love another. And I missed him.

I wish I could just see him, my Chuck. Not only did I miss him, but I missed Ellie and Awesome; the couple that is absolutely awesome. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, I kind of missed Morgan. I missed my family.

I walked over to my mini bar that was in my small hotel room and grabbed something that would make me forget Chuck even existed. I pulled the lid off before taking a drink of the liquid contained within the tiny bottle, the contents burning a pleasant line of fire down to my still unsettled stomach. It felt good so I took another swig of the fiery liquid as a single thought crossed my mind, 'I need you now Chuck.' I reached out for my cell phone and dialed the oh-so familiar number and almost pressed send but the door burst open before I could. Drunkenly I reached down to grab a knife out of my ankle sheath.

'Walker, I'm happy you have bad aim when you're heavily intoxicated,' Casey stated dryly, before his voice softened slightly. A moment passed. 'Walker, sorry to say it, but you do not look good.'

I tried to think up a sharp retort, but the incessant ring of my cell phone interrupted. Casey took one look at the phone's caller ID and then shot a quick glance at me.

'Walker, Bartowski is a mess. You don't have to listen to him at night. It's horrible. I even feel sorry for him! But look, Walker, you're just as messed up as Bartowski is. And if you ever breathe another word of what I'm about to say I will personally end you. I'm starting to miss Team Bartowski.'

I looked up at Casey's sincere face, and without consciously realizing what I was doing, I ran over to him and started crying into his black button up shirt. 'Walker, whoa, hey there, it's okay,' Casey muttered, more than a bit surprised, and he began to pat my head like you would a little dog.

But I didn't really care. It was probably the alcohol in my system that was making me lose control like this, but it felt nice letting my emotions out for once; letting another human being see the amount of pain I was in. I finally pulled myself together and stopped crying, and in that moment I decided that I needed to hear his voice. I needed him now.

'Hey, it's me. Chuck. It doesn't have to be this way you know. I can stop. We can be just asset and handler. Anything. Um... Ring back if you need me. Bye.'

'Hey it's me, Chuck… again. I'm sorry Sarah. I am.'

'Um… yeah. You could call back anytime'

'(gulps whiskey) Ahhh yeah. Ring me. Chuck.'

'I'm so sorry Sarah. This is all my fault.'

'I miss you Sarah. Please me back ring? I mean, please call me back'

'Oh yeah, that last message was from me. Chuck.'

'It's me again. Chuck. I just really miss you Sarah. Can we talk? I need to see you. This is killing me Sarah. I love you. I might be slightly drunk but I know it's true. Just ring me back? Please?'

'Walker. That is only a little bit of what he's been going through. Believe me, soon the drunken singing of love songs and screaming at me asking where you went will escalate. Walker, it's not pretty.'

Casey was trying. I could see that he was attempting to fix this mission so that we could get back to killing the bad guys. But, because Chuck was now hung over most of the time, he couldn't flash; his emotions were always in the way.

'I'm going to go get him some aspirin and I'm going to go fix this,' I slurred slightly.

Casey grunted and said gruffly, 'No, you're not. You're drunk, and he's drunk. You aren't driving and I'm not driving you there. You are going to sober up, and then make that choice.'

Casey picked me up, much to my disgust, and put me on my bed with a grunted 'stay'. And then he was gone. I crawled off the bed and back to my mini bar, grabbing the unknown, but familiar, fiery liquid. Quickly downing the rest of it, I felt myself finally succumb to the welcome blackness.


End file.
